Different but the Same ...

The things that are the same in respect to taking this medication for depression again, are these...
I am getting much more done around here.
The computer doesn't hold the same pull.
and the element of self interest and attention to appearance and self care.

I seem to be much more competently able to sequence a string of tasks in an effective manner for best time management. I'm getting odd jobs done that I would more typically put off. I am on top of my washing and folding for the first time in months and don't feel like its a never ending vicious cycle. I'm a little lighter in general attitude.
I have been back to the doctor and gotten the results of my blood tests. My Liver, Kidney and Thyroid are functioning effectively and well. My vitamin D and B12 are within normal ranges though Vit D is at the lower end so more skin in sunlight prescribed. :) My Cholesterol is excellent. My blood is fine.

So not a single other thing possibly contributing to my symptoms.
The doctor I am seeing is also a trained psychologist, yesterday was somewhat more of a mind ( rather than body ) session and I have been given some recommended reading and advice.

'Jessica' designed and constructed by Little Miss.

I must point out something that I neglected to mention in my last post which is that I was already attending counselling with a social worker when I started the anti depressants during the PND and counselling was offered and recommended along with the drug this time too. It was my choice to take the drug based on the advice I was given.

She says that seeing an effect already at this very early stage is a really good sign and nothing would typically start to change until after two weeks, I'm just on two weeks. The last couple of nights I have slept better which I hope continues on as broken restless sleep was one of my early side effects. I was told that some potentially unpleasant hard to deal with side effects would arise in the first couple of weeks as my neuro transmitters adjusted to the medication.
The other one was involuntary jaw tremors and teeth grinding. The tremors were annoying and only lasted a few days. the teeth grinding was/is happening at night and as I have fragile and crumbling teeth not good.  I started to be able to feel my jaw setting in that position as I fell asleep and notice it happens if I am overtired too. I haven't ground my teeth the last couple of nights either which I hold as promising :)
I remember last time I took this, about 3 hours after I took my tablet I would start yawning uncontrollably. lol

I see depression as a continuum now that I didn't perceive before.
I'm always on it and one end is basically imperceptible symptoms other wise known as 'normal'. I consider myself lucky to have never been far along it in my adult life, if the other end of the continuum is home to suicidal thoughts, hospitalisation and death. Though I know where you land on the continuum is obviously beyond your control.

I am encouraged by all the support, comments and warmth offered to me through social media and email following my last post though thats not why I originally chose to write about it. I applaud and sincerely thank those who shared their stories with me I wanted to record this more accurately for myself and I hoped doing it publicly could widen even one persons perception or awareness of this issue. You guys widened my own awareness through your sharing. I'm doing OK and improving. :)

9 comments:

  1. Good to hear the results were normal and to see you write

    " I am OK and improving".

    xxoo

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  2. Hi Tammi
    i missed your last post so i will have to go and read it.
    Good on you for a-going to the doctors and b-writing about it.
    It will probably be hard to get any vitamin d in your neck of the woods at the mo, but how good are the rest of your medical tests-wonderful.
    Sending you lots of BIG hugs
    xxx

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  3. Oh, Tammi. I *get it*. Sending you a ♥ on this cold winter night. J x

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  4. oh sweet tammi...so happy to hear that you are seeing some positive results. & i'm SO happy for you that you are putting your health as a priority. actually, i am learning a lot from you since i tend to ignore my own health & just make do. you are taking charge & moving FORWARD...& for that i'm giving you a huge "WELL DONE!"

    all my love & friendship,
    gigi

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  5. I hope you can feel much, much better soon Tammy. Rachaelxx

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  6. Great news Tammi! (PS if you have nothing to do, do you want to come and help me catch up on my laundry? LOL It's definitely warmer up here!)

    Keep up the good work Tammi!

    Anne xx

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  7. Tammy you are so brave to come out and talk about a subject that can often be thrown around and not always taken seriously enough. Depression is something that I have seen first hand, it's a process, a journey that is not always easy but I'm so glad to hear you are feeling better and that you are seeking the best possible help. Take care. xo

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  8. This is a weird coincidence. I have just this week gone back onto medication too and am struggling with the side effects at the moment. I was on them a while back after my marriage broke up. I went off them six months ago, thinking I was ok and I was, until recently. It is a hard thing to face that you may need to take them for the rest of your life but the alternative (to struggle) is not attractive either. Here's to feeling better.

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