Should You ... Could You ?
Think about this. We frequently tell ourselves that we 'should' do various things. 'Should' lives in Expectation.
So, we set ourselves up for a lot of negative internal dialogue by not meeting this expectation of self, or having a desired outcome we are not attaining, Right?
I don't think anyone consciously does this. Yet, its like we are all somehow taught this manner of behaviour that I see as intrinsically faulty. 'Should' invites internal criticisms that we are not even conscious of. Consequently, we are constantly telling our selves thorough 'Should' That we are behind on tasks, not healthy enough, not clever enough and not good enough!
Go easy on yourself. Hear your should's but don't take them personally, take their advice but don't let them define you. You are not your thoughts.
With this in mind try changing 'Should' to Could in your internal dialogue. Could changes any negative association of Should, from criticism to possibility. Its such a simple, easy, change. I use this myself sometimes when I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed with a long to do list or feeling behind on my home keeping. Making the shift from should - which feels mentally weighty, to Could is empowering, as it gives you the opportunity to make a decision.
"I should eat more fruit and Vegetables" is a voice that says I am doing the wrong thing.
"I Could eat more fruit and Vegetables" is a possibility.
Phrasing it this way places a choice in your hands. So, you could choose to take this action ... or choose not to. You make a decision, you are being mindful. Its done.
I'd love to hear if you try this and if it has any kind of positive effect for you, I really believe that changing your internal dialogue does a lot of good and is a valuable way to help you see your self worth.